dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
