I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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