some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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