There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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