I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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