Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
