Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Sorry about my life...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
