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i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
