Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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