rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
no more duck duck goose at the bar
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
