someone threw a dead crab at me
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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