we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
