the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
