Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
