The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize