when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
