Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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