dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
