Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
