we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
