She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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