Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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