is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
