i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
a search helicopter?!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
