And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
