so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
