If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
home. puking in laundry basket.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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