I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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