We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize