I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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