I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
