Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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