I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Why is there bacon in the couch?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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