Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Drake has all the answers
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
