her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
