she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
where does the pee come out of this thing
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
