I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
