mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
