went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
