Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
