Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
