You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
