i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
