I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
