i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Randomize
