she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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