Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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