I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
