Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
