I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize