Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You just made me feel so damn special
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
