Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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