I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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