need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
