So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
if only i could text you this smell
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
