Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
